“It’s Not That Simple” – A Mental Health Medication Spoken Word Poem

My therapist once asked me if I was truly committed to treatment. She said that things wouldn’t get better unless.

My therapist once asked me if I was truly
committed to treatment. She said that things wouldn’t get better unless I was completely
invested. I tried to tell you that I am, but that sometimes there’s a part of my mind that’s
like another person, and he doesn’t necessarily know if he’s on board. She shot back with,
“There are not different parts of you; there’s just you, and you need to decide if you really
want this.” Now let me begin by saying that I love my therapist. She’s guided me through
hell and back, and not once has she led me down the wrong path. But what she doesn’t
understand is sometimes, it’s not as simple as that. Sometimes, I’m drowning so deep in
the ocean of medications that all I want is to feel like ME again. I wanna pull him out
of the water, breathe life into his lungs, and tell him, “No! You can’t give in!” Sometimes
I feel so lost in this cold and dark place–this purgatory between heaven and hell–that even
Satan’s fingertips seem inviting because, sometimes, his flame is the only light that
I can see. You see, there’s a separate person in the minds of all of us. He’s the one who
tells teenage girls to dress in mini skirts because it’s the only way to get a man’s attention.
Hes the one telling boys that they’re not really men unless they’re doing manly things,
like working on cars, going camping, or sleeping with anything so they can go back and tell
their buddies. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear as you stare into the mirror,
things about how big your nose it, how flat your chest is, how dorky your glasses are,
and how no one really likes you; they just want you around for what you can do for them.
We all have that little voice in the back of our minds that feeds our insecurities,
tells us we’re weak, and speaks contrary to everything we believe. The only problem is:
Mine doesn’t whisper, he screams at the top of his lungs, trying to cause an avalanche
of negativity to come down and crush me. And the worst part is mine doesn’t just poke fun
as my physical or mental features.No, he’s too cunning for that. Mine will remind me
that when all the chips were down, HE was the only one there for me. Mine will point
out that when I was too far out to sea, drowning is that ocean of medicine, the fog of unawareness
enshrouding me, it was he that brought the lifeboat. It may not have brought me to safety–and
though I knew that it wasn’t right to get off the medications–it was HIM that helped
me feel again.It was HIM that helped me be ME again. No, he didn’t take me to dry land,
but he was the only company I had. So when I tell my doctor that there’s a part of me
that doesn’t want to give it, that doesn’t want to go silently into that goodnight, I’m
not saying that I’m not committed. What I’m saying is that there’s a part of me that I
hate,–that I wish nothing more than for it to go away–and yet, he’s been with me since
the beginning. When things were at their worst, even though he’s probably the one who caused
it, he was still there, as dependable as ever, whispering sweet negativity into my ear. Yes,
he’s my worst enemy, but he’s also my best friend, and though, more often than not, I
want to get rid of him, sometimes, it’s just not as simple as that.

18 thoughts on ““It’s Not That Simple” – A Mental Health Medication Spoken Word Poem”

  1. Thanks for taking the time to watch! Please let me know if you found it helpful. Also if you liked it please click that red SUBSCRIBE button above (it's free, and let's you keep up-to-date with my videos). Thanks! 💙

  2. To me, in my humble and completely individual opinion, it sounds like that voice is the voice of doubt, of question. The conscious questioning itself over whatever event or words have taken place and assessing how to react to it… only the knowledge isn't certain enough in your mind, so the conscious keeps questioning or directing you elsewhere for that answer or some other certainty to feel.

    I hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to explain it or diagnose! The voice in me seems like that. My anxiety is doubt and logic trying to do their normal thing but not being able to find the answers or suitable information in my mind, so they ask other questions or stop me going forward. Sure it's not all of it, but I often wonder, if I knew more about the situations, if I had more ability within myself for the things I was trying to do… if that anxiety and doubt would go away. I believe it would.

  3. This poem, I swear is like you looked into my soul and saw how i feel every single day of my life and put them to words. My fiance who loves me, doesn't understand even though i have tried to explain it. This dark passanger who seems like my only friend at times, has taken me to hell and left me to find my way back more times than i care to count. It has talked me into going off my meds more times than i care to admit. Who still somehow had a front row seat to my thoughts, is the most difficult to ignore despite how hard i try. It has taken me down paths i never would have gone without a second thought. I completely relate to this.

  4. I love the frantic undertone, like you are reading off your thoughts as they appear in your heart & mind. Like you are pondering things. I really appreciate that style.

  5. when ever I need a pep talk I come to ur page and listen to ur poems and I share them with others when I feel that they need to hear ur words

  6. i came across you by chance as you comented on another utubers video. but fate would have it that tho by chance… is it? fate steps in when you most need it..im already a huge fan after only one video. i plan to watch them all and speard the word. i suffer with a few mental illnesses and im always searching for help,inspiration and advice. looking forward to many more videos from you.
    Ronnie♡JC XXX

  7. I really enjoyed this 🙂 I could personally relate to everything you said here 😀
    x brilliant. subscribed x

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