Oh hey, Herb. By any chance you want to go out and maybe grab a bite? Really? You and me?
– Sure, why not? It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, you’re the ex-husband, I’m the current… So we’ve got something in common. We do, don’t we?
– Right. Neither one of us is having sex with Judith. That’s actually a little too close to home.
– Sorry. So, what do you think? I could eat.
– Well let’s go. I give up, Herb. How do you tell a kebab to be quiet? Shh, kebab! Very clever, very clever! Well, when you’re a pediatrician you need to have a lot of kind-friendly jokes. Sometimes when I use the little reflex hammer, I pretend I’m an indian. It’s not politically correct but the tykes love it! Oh boy, I wish my doctor had a sense of humor. Everytime I have a prostate exam, I say: ‘what, you’re not going to buy me dinner first?’ And nothing, not even a smile. Really? ‘Cause that’s a beaut!
– That’s what I thought! But… Most people just don’t get me. Well, that’s their loss. So, we should do it again some time. I’d like that. Great, great! You know, I’m gonna go to the flee market tomorrow. Do you want to join me? Tomorrow? Oh, I don’t know… Oh, I’m sorry. It’s probably too soon.
– No! No. No, it’s not. It’s just…
– Judith, I know. Just not sure what to tell her.
– Well, you can tell her the truth. What is the truth, Alan? That we’re friends. We are friends, aren’t we? Okay friend, I’ll see you tomorrow!
– It’s a date! Oh, Jake! Jake. Hi buddy, ehm…
– I don’t care, I got my own problems. Oh, hey Judith. I just came by to pick up Herb. We’re going to the flee market. No, you’re not. What do you mean? I just talked to him. Look Alan, I discussed it wih Herb and we decided that it’s not in anyone’s best interest for you two to be spending time together. You both decided that, hm?
– Yes. Well if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear it from Herb. I do mind. The two of you hanging out is wrong. It’s unnatural. Excuse me, but I’ve done a few unnatural things in my day and this is not unnatural. Goodbye Alan.
– Our marriage, that was unnatural! You can’t do this Judith! You can not keep us apart! Herb and I will find a way to be together. Hi.
– Hi. That must have sounded kind of strange.
– Not at all. Herb is a very handsome man. Herb! Herb! Alan? Over here! I didn’t want you think that I stood you up. I know you’d never do that. Judith just doesn’t understand. I know and I’m sorry. But what are we going to do? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll see you when I’m bringing Jake back. That’d be nice. Bye. Bye. Alan, wait! I’m coming with you!
– But how? Be careful, you big galoot.
– I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m not okay! Oh god, Herb! Talk to me! What’s going on out here? Alan, wait! Take me with you! Herb.
– We haven’t got much time. Judith thinks I’m at physical therapy. Then, let’s make the most of it.