Why a Therapist Won’t See You Anymore

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91 thoughts on “Why a Therapist Won’t See You Anymore”

  1. I really appreciate this list. I am always worried that I will let myself and my therapist down by not doing the homework. Now I have more of a reason to try hard to get better. I do not want to lose a good therapist or fall back into bad things. I really want to get better. It's really hard to try sometimes. This list will help motivate me to keep working hard. Thank you

  2. I had a therapist see myself and another family member seperately, but because she was unable to differeniate the sessions and dynamics therein, she ended up lashing out at my family member when we were both in the waiting room. We were both completely disgusted with her severe reaction and just ended up leaving before the both of us could have a session together; which is what we were working toward. Now I see why it's best that doesn't happen. I think by now professionals who care enough to see the fine details (like you had described in this video), should probably avoid this issue. I could end up blowing up into something quite awful instead of healing both parties. Thank you for your insights. I also subscribed.

  3. I ditched a Doctor once because she kept calling me at home and at all hours of the night. I'm like seriously lady, I feel like shit, Awkward …. Got a new Doctor.

  4. Your thoughts on number six in this video, would this also apply to therapy started in a group in my case a father daughter setting? Thank you for your thoughts and time. E

  5. I went to marriage counseling with my ex husband and after 3 sessions our therapist said she wanted to see him alone for a few sessions. He went to a session and quit going after that. Our marriage imploded shortly after that. This kinda goes against what she said is ethical.

  6. I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only person that felt a stab of anxiety reading this video's title.

  7. do any of your clients you stop seeing have adhd? because that is a factor, and suddenly telling adhd people you wont see them anymore because they arnt trying hard enough is very very bad, because that is all they are told for most of their lifes

  8. There was a period of time when if I told my pdoc every time I felt suicidal I never would have left the hospital. During that time I didn't really know how to tell my therapist what was bothering me. I just wasn't ready for psychotherapy.

  9. what happen if the therapist just simply don't feel comfortable working with someone, or being verbally/physical violated by the client. Can the therapist just walk away and stop working with a client ?? is there rules about this? hope you can see this Katie. love your videos !

  10. I have the last one with my current therapist, They have been seeing my mother for many years prior, and I hate the whole situation, they went right into it thinking they knew everything about me, when they really know very little, as such they don't listen to what I say, and insist they know better without even giving me time to explain or defend my thinking. So I just feel like they are saying shut up the whole time, and only let me say things they want to hear, and then the whole thing seems fake. I didn't know they could just abandon treatment of individuals if they aren't getting better.

  11. I legally never have to see you again

    This was difficult to parse for me. This could mean:

    I am legally obligated to cease treatment and not have any further contact with you.

    I have the legal right to cease further contact with you.

  12. True story.. one of my good therapists got cancerous pneumonia and died in the course of therapy. She was too young to die. I didn’t see anyone for a year and sunk pretty low

  13. Idk why but my last therapist tried to encourage me to do number 6 and I someone who isn’t a professional at knew it was wrong. Don’t think I’ll ever return :/

  14. Wow…i can't believe someone would act as heinously as to swear at and/or threaten a therapist or anyone for that matter????, that's just low and inconceivable…..

  15. Seeing a patient with a loved one on occasion one would think would give a firmer grasp on day to day life of your patient that is not tainted by subjectivity. As long as this is done voluntarily and with an open and kind cooperation from all parties, one would think this would be helpful to a therapist to get that objective insight into your patients day to day. Not every session of course, but a few times a year should be something you seek out, not reject.

  16. I remember when I was in Therapie in grade 6 or so, because my parents felt like I needed help with organisation and because I had some problems with social situations. After some time, I actually lied about all the organization things that they have gotten better… Maybe I felt forced to do these things and just didn't wanted to do them…
    But the therapist didn't care, or just didn't say anything about that again, even after talking with my parents. We were just focusing better on social things, where I myself wanted to get better, and there it really helped me, because I wanted a change.

  17. Who cares, therapists are a waste of time that can't even solve their own problems. That's why they're in therapy themselves. Last time I was in a hospital, I noticed a poster, next to the elevators, on a suicide prevention workshop FOR psychiatrists, NOT their patients. Need I say more?

  18. Your videos are so helpful! It makes me feel less anxious about my first every therapy appointment after a decade long break!

  19. My last therapist really made me despise therapy as a whole, which is ironic because I've always been the one who advocates for therapy treatment. In total, I've had four therapists. The first one told me she wasn't sure if she could help me, so she referred me to someone else. Second one never communicated with me and would usually cut our time short simply because she didn't know what to say or do with me. Third one was a god damn angel who broke a lot of rules to help me get better, which I did. She wasn't even getting paid to see me. She was an intern. The final and fourth one constantly made excuses as to why she couldn't see me after I only saw her twice. First time, she told me she forgot about our session. Second time, she double booked. Then she had a family emergency. Then she refused to call me in because I coughed in the waiting room and she was afraid I was sick. THEN she refused to see me because she felt threatened by my getting upset when she didn't call me in the time before. At last, she cut my therapy entirely because "I wasn't making any progress."

    Maybe things would be different with another therapist, but at this point 3/4 bad experiences is enough to keep me from seeking treatment. I can't afford it anymore anyway.

  20. This is off topic, but every once in a while I consider writing a letter to my mothers previous therapists asking them to consider/learn more about covert narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse and collusion. I consider myself a narcissistic abuse survivor. I grew up in a very toxic family and consider myself the Family scapegoat/trash can. Over the course of my life, my mother had asked me at random times to come in to have general discussion with her with her therapist present. Since I have always wanted to try to make my relationship stronger with my mother, I considered this a very plausible option to help our relationship. It took me a long time before I realized that she was using the therapist to beat up on me. I could never understand why I could not have an adult Conversation with her, and always found myself defending myself from her use of others to punish me. It wasn’t until this past year, over 40 years of this abuse, before I discovered the terminology that helped me understand more about this type of covert/emotional abuse – thanks to people like you and other amazing people on YouTube. I do not hold a grudge against these therapists, but wonder if their (possibly continued) lack of understanding on the topic is making them a weapon against other people. Please comment, I would love to hear your opinion.

  21. I have subscribed to you because you are so down to earth. You can see your honesty. The people that do get to see you are quite lucky.
    You make a difference. 🕊

  22. Yeah I noticed to dare not mention the main obvious one for males of course is that they get attached to the female therapist. Didn't talk about that elephant in the room eh.

  23. Thanks so much for making this video. My therapist has referred me out for DBT and I've been feeling really bummed and hurt about it. But I've realized it's because she cares enough about me to want me to get the right treatment, not because I've failed her or because she doesn't like me. I guess it'd be like seeing a dermatologist about your skin cancer – they're not equipped to deal with that and they're gonna have to send you to an oncologist, someone who specializes in cancer. It's not that you're untreatable or they don't like you, it's just that they aren't equipped to help you with that kind of problem.

  24. I stopped seeing my therapist bc i felt non compliant, every time i saw her she would tell me about how i need to look into college and driving and getting away from my family and tbh i wasnt ready for that and i wasnt ready to tell her. I was also afraid that she saw i wasnt doing the things she told me and would stop seeing me, and at one point she said “well um if you want to schedule another appointment email me” instead of our usual “well would you like to schedule another appointment for next week” at the end of the session. And so i just went home and never emailed her to set up an appointment. And then when i started falling back into my old habits that she had helped w i was afraid to email her bc it had been SO long and I thought shed be frustrated or mad at me for not doing what she told me to do. But now i think im ready to go back even though its been 10 months since i last saw her. I still feel a bit scared about if shell even set up an appointment w me but i really want to get better and not be so resistant. Im tired of this life plateau im sitting on. (If anyone has any relations or advice id greatly appreciate it bc im still a bit unsure of if i should email her)

  25. I would classify all of these as boundaries. In a therapy setting, boundaries are necessary in order for a safe and open space to exist.

    I have been in therapy for 15+ years. When I moved cross country, I went to the phycologist and psychiatrist (they were in the same clinic) recommended by my insurance. The therapist was warm, patient, looked thru the work I had been doing, and created a plan for us. Basically, it was a healthy system.

    The psychiatrist, however, made significant changes to my medication. He switched me from Seroquel to lithium. I was then prescribed both Xanax and Xanax xr apart the same time. He added an antidepressant. Then he added lamictal to balance the antidepressant. Then he added Risperdal. When my moods started swinging more, he added Depakote and increased my lithium.

    I ended up hospitalized for lithium poisoning and was triggered into a full manic episode with psychosis. The lithium poisoning wrecked my balance, which still hasn't completely recovered, and I have tinnitus. The manic episode pasted nearly two weeks. It was literally hell.

    When I got home from the hospital, I was served a letter from the psychiatrist and therapist saying I am not welcomed there anymore. I was then served a restraining warning from communicating or approaching them. I was barely able to walk, was in physical therapy, emotionally exhausted, and at a completely loss of what to do.

    Luckily, the physical therapist knew of a psychologist group with an excellent reputation, the only draw back was that their M.D.'s and therapists usually had lengthy wait times. I gave them a call and after they heard my predicament, got me in quickly. Needless to say, he took me off of nearly everything, rerouted to Seroquel, Lamictal, and a low dose of Xanax only for anxiety/panic attacks. He got me with a primary care doctor who began treating me blood pressure and blood sugar. The previous psychiatrist continually said that those were all in my head. My new therapist has been fantastic.

    I guess I am saying this because for all the good apples or there, sometimes you find a poisoned one. I didn't listen to my inner voice that he was not respecting boundaries. He didn't like when I questioned him. He didn't like when I told him about side effects. I paid the price.

    I still have flashbacks, but I can deal with them. I just wish I had walked away when those boundaries were first ignored.

  26. i know you made this video a while ago but i just wanted to ask what to do because I ALMOST had a suicide attempt/committed suicide and I havent told my therapist yet. It happened two weeks ago and i was going to tell her today but i was so afraid becausr she thought i was doing better! I don't know what will happen if I tell her and i have a panic atteack almost everytime i think about it. Please help!

  27. What if your therapist stops seeing you but doesn’t tell you why and you can’t figure out what went wrong? One therapist stopped seeing me and I can’t figure out why. I’m not in a group, I’m not in any danger, I haven’t threatened her, and I only had like four or five sessions with her so it couldn’t be the progress thing. She just called me and said, “I’m not seeing you anymore you’re on your own,” then hung up on me. I get the feeling she was frustrated with just me as a person like with my anxiety and trauma. She made a few comments in the last few sessions that implied she wanted me to move on faster. Idk

  28. Thank you for the insights.
    Though are these typical head shrink mentalities.
    Reel someone in with hopes of getting better and feeling better, then boom, money or safety or hmm you need shock therapy in lock up.

    Do they really care!?

    If someone is so "emotionally full", then why would they not be allowed to be frustrated, angry, or use swearing? Sounds like that therapist needs some thicker skin if they are to work with unbalanced people to make them better. For instance welders wear gloves, helmets, darkening glass, because it's gonna get hot, bright and messy. So a Dr. That's afraid to get dirty to fix someone is picking an easy road.
    They should probably go work at dairy queen with all that soft serve.
    People are emotionally shattered eggs, and they need individuals with the expertise that are not afraid of getting down and dirty with duck tape and a broom.

    To walk in to a therapist and be told no in any form, or to have the fearful thought of what if they think I'm crazy and lock me up..

    Does not sound like there's any trust from the on set.

    So why bother?

    Now if money is all the docs want, we'll that's just plain greedy!


    The Batshit Crazy Irish
    (or Dr. Ziggy if you prefer)

  29. I have to say, since the subject came up – but there really needs to be a different alternative instead of hospitalizing those that want to kill themselves, scaring those out of telling someone. Because not all of us like hospitals or psych wards, so theres an idea…

  30. i started freaking out but then i realized that this video is from ten months ago and i've watched more recent videos.

  31. You have anger issues and are obviously spiteful, easily frustrated by your clients because the health system you are in is not organic and thus unlikely to ever be conducive to either party.

  32. The first therapist I had saw me and the ex (ex husband). She was seeing us individually then was doing couples therapy with us. She was the first person to ever pick up that I reacted like an abuse victim. She never realized who my abuser was. The ex convinced her I didn't really want to do therapy and many other things.

  33. Healing doesn't involve compliance. Paying someone – a therapist- to write about how you fit a pathology when you have trusted them with cotidian matters that don't bear pathologizing is self-defeating. If you want to be well, why would you spend time and money documenting how pathological you are? If therapy didn't work, then why keep diagnosing and treating when maybe it might be more productive to do the opposite. In many cases, people really need an honest lawyer and to know the truth.

  34. I've had two therapist stop treatment on me. One was after a year and she simply stopped returning my calls but I really didn't care because we did not work well together. It was what it was. The second was harder. It was very abrupt and sudden. I was given a number to another therapist and told I owed $250 which I was hounded for for some time after. It was very disheartening and difficult to deal with. I still feel guilt about it and not sure how I could have changed it. I tell myself it's lack of progress and that was my fault but a new number to a therapist I never met and bill feels a little cold ya know?

  35. With regards to not paying the bill for 3 months, I agree with you not becoming a bill collector and you are not doing charity work.

    But this was very disturbing to me ,that you didn’t add or reference you would have to stop seeing them ,but would help your client find alternatives that would be available to help them with there problems ,that would match there economic situation .
    There are community options ,there are self help internet information,there are churches,AA programs ….etc.

    This just comes across in your video as stone cold .

  36. Let me tell you I am really homicidal. And I have a really bad day and I made a list of people I want to hurt. And one of my best therapist I had was on it way I have no idea. But don't make this mistake. I regret it.

  37. My therapist stopped seeing me and didn't tell me she was doing that. She just stopped texting me back about appointments after asking about billing.

  38. My therapist last year left the practice and didn’t add me to the hospitals case transfer list so he basically left me high and dry. I had to wait for the hospital to set up and call me back which never happened. So maybe a 7th reason they won’t see you anymore is that they are switching jobs…

  39. Another great informative video! I do wonder though if some therapist use these reasons as a cop-out. They simply dont like you and use one of these reasons to get out of treating you.

  40. Or another reason that happened to me yesterday Is that i revealed to my therapist i had romantic feelings towards. She didnt try to help me process this transference. She immediately went to her supervisor and took me out of her workload. Now it's just going to be uncomfortable me to even look at her. When she let me in to the back where the offices are at she refused to look at me or talk to me. Now I have an overwhelming sense guilt that borders on anger and occasionally suicide thoughts because of how the situation was handled…

  41. I legit don't understand how I had to sign a form that I was quitting therapy against medical advice when I was ticking so many boxes on this list O.O I was non-compliant, I didn't do the homework (or at least I didn't spend enough time on it), I skipped sessions or showed up way too late, I didn't want to listen because I was constantly trying to figure out what my therapist wanted from me and trying to do the exact opposite, sometimes I would literally refuse to say a word. I hadn't been progressing for about a year, I was only getting worse and I had tried many other options. I truly don't understand why they thought it would be better for me to continue that way and I'm glad I quit back then, even though I'm looking to start treatment again, I really needed a break

  42. I have posted the subsequent comment b4 under another handle, but felt that becase of the title of that handle some people might have got the impression that i might have been trolling or was not taking it as seriously as i perhaps should. So thought i would repost it .for no other reason than to make my self feel better about something which has had a moumental as well as, detrimental effect, on what would go on to become my subsequent "life"…..

    So I was 17yo in the UK, when this happened to me. When i was sent to a "behaviourist" though the NHS system. I went to a number – over a year- of "sessions" and even went to external activities that she set me to. Where i really felt way WAAY out of my depth, but i wanted to please her so continued with anyway. When this all came crashing down , not in a good way for me, particually for my mental health, i was brought in with the "line manager" who was a social worker. And who MT had previously told me was a "good friend of hers".
    [ i have to say, that in giveing this information made me feel sowhow that it "compromised" my position to that of being outside of my own process. Though couldnt articulate this at the time] . So when i was told that i would be meeting with them both in a "session setting", i thought, well that's good, (I'm going to find out about what everyone thinks about me!.) But to my crushing disappointment, all i got was information partaining to my boss at the workplace thought i was trying to "take over the place"? I mean WTF!!!!!????. I then made a comment that, "well you know how it is, first "acme co" and then? ..ye know "THE WORLD!". Which is the kind of purile flippent responce that i felt, the subsequent assuption kinda desearved. The next appointment i went in to see her, and she was sitting in the room legs crossed smoking with the varanda windows open. wrighting in a pad, never made eye contact, and told me that this was our last session and if i ever wanted to contact her again, i could phone her .When i next saw my psychiatrist and asked why i had been dismissed in what felt like rejection and abandonment, he just told me to contact her and ask her.
    I'm not somone who, when he feels that im not wanted , wants to then go and be a nuisance and/or get prosecuted for stalking. And i felt if she wanted to see me, she would not have dismissed me in the unceremoniously way that she did … This actually had, and still has a MONUMENTAL effect on me. My physical and mental health went down hill for a good while after that …… And even today, i still dont think I've reconciled with it, and i am now left with a lot of questions and anger that now i have to live with forever …… it really REALLY never goes away🙁😔

  43. I don't think there is "a fix" and that's done. I saw a therapist for 6 years, once a week, and it did me a world of good. No grand finally. No "goals met", except getting through another week alive and sane.

  44. I was honest, did my homework and took my meds. But my therapist suggested I go to the hospital but we couldn't because we were snowed in. She freaked out and thought I was refusing to go to the hospital. She refused to see me anymore. It broke my heart

  45. Or in the UK they run out of sessions ☹ or my situation at the moment mine is a trainee on placement and is finishing in septmeber but also she not trained in what she thinks i need anyway (emdr). So shes kinda building me up to that until september.

  46. Can a reason for a therapist to stop seeing you because maybe they are getting triggered in certain ways ?

  47. Had a nurse practitioner drop me because I OD'd on the meds she prescribed me in a suicide attempt. I've been banned from my favorite hospital because I've attempted too many times while under their care and they felt like they couldn't keep me safe. But what's an even higher level of care than a hospital?

  48. Hi, I wanted to ask why does my therapist want to see me every 3 weeks, and i know that it's normal to see my therapist every week, and I do have actual problems, depression and eating disorder

  49. after about 3 years, i think i'm going to drop my MD. we're just not getting anywhere anymore. and with him, all roads now seem to be heading toward ECT. I'm nervous about it, so i avoid my homework. if this is the extent of our current relationship, i think i have to seek help elsewhere

  50. There is also the issue of the client or therapist becoming attracted to one another. If it ever gets to that point the therapeutic relationship has to come to an end immediately. Pronto.

  51. I like what you said in another video–a therapist is really only there to be an empathetic listener. They will not solve your problems, etc. even really make any reccomendations beyond basic feedback. Two that did were massively off base. I wish you guys would track progress more and keep us on track with our stated goals. Hardly any therapist I've had over 30 years off and on on different cities EVER wrote a treatment plan. Two Ivy League psychologists in there too.

  52. So the therapist relationship is only safe and comfortable if you don't miss any payments. Number 6, once you make a payment it will all be safe again.

  53. My psychiatrist is discontinuing our sessions for a different reason, I'm trans nb and her practice only sees my birth gender so she's helping me find a new psychiatrist to go to since Istaryed transitioning. Not the most common occurrence but idk if anyone else is dealing with it or not.

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